If Only I Had Not Dissected That Worm!
by admin
I have a brain pimple… a giant bump of distraction deep inside my grey matter that makes me want to remove my scalp and reach in to pop it! On the surface, I am an average, boring, calm individual. The majority of my personality can be defined as “the nurturer”. I find satisfaction in improving the lives of those around me, thus occupying my time by caring for animals in need. That part of me finds comfort and necessity in a stable home with a solid income.
But, there is this constant, nagging presence that I try to ignore. A giant pimple of distraction, throbbing and growing, just waiting to burst. It screams for excitement, attention and adventure – the need to push the envelope and shake up the world around me. It rears up every now and then… usually in the form of refusing to follow the rules, working odd jobs that don’t fit my outward personality (like Coyote Ugly), and saying completely inappropriate things just to get a reaction. Mostly though, I ignore it, pushing it out of the way so that I can live a conventional, stable life. Then I read an article like this one and the darn pimple starts to throb again: http://www.cnn.com/2011/TRAVEL/03/31/mireya.mayor.explorer/index.html?hpt=C2#
The article, is all about a “Female Indiana Jones” – a biologist that has spent her life traveling the world, discovering new animals and places (see – always goes back to the animals, always). What an amazing way to spend one’s only shot at this thing called life!
Growing up, I was told I could do anything I wanted to do. Yet, somehow as I got older, the realities of life (and my overwhelming anxiety) have lead me to one paper pushing job after another. How did it all go that direction? I blame it on that worm I had to dissect in Biology 101… clearly that scared me away from anything adventurous and right into the arms of always-safe paperwork.
Am I completely crazy? Do any of you out there feel the same way – like there is an itch you just can’t scratch? As though there are two sides of your personality that argue all of the time?